Patterned Pants. (and shorts.)

Oh hello.  Remember me? I used to blog about fashiony things and then disappeared for like umm ever. WELL it’s because I’ve been skydiving the Swiss Alps, galavanting across Paris in search of the best bordeaux & croissant combo and swimming in the turquoise waters of the Virgin Islands.

“Ohhh kay Maureen, but what about the other 340+ days you weren’t doing any of those things?” One word: I’m lazy. Okay? That’s two words. Whatever, you get my point, I’m human and somehow my plans to blog turned into plans to go to brunch, or make my own lotion, or lay in bed eating Ben & Jerry’s. We’ve all been there.

But I’m back baby!  And my pants (and shorts) have gotten a whole lot kookier. SO, here we go. Let’s start with the pro’s and cons of patterned pants (and shorts). Can I stop writing (and shorts)? Can you just know I mean both when I say pants? Okay thanks, good talk.

PROS:
1. Patterned pants do all the work. You can wear a plain shirt with them and limited accessories and get loads of compliments on your outfit. LOADS.
2. You don’t have to think about the outfit that much, printed pants, plain T, plain heels, maybe a bracelet or earrings, BOOM outfit done.
3. They seem to always be “in-style” in one form or another. Here’s a pic of Jayne Mansfield from the 1950’s with some leopard pants on:

Jayne Mansfield.

Jayne Mansfield.

CONS:
1. Everyone will know if you wear these more than once in any given week. Don’t be that guy or gal. These aren’t those M-W-F jeans that blend into the background, so wear once every 3 weeks at most. (Wait, I’m not the only one who has M-W-F jeans right? I mean I wash them! Once in a while….)
2.  That’s the only CON. That’s a 3:1 ratio of pros to cons, so if you divide that by your need for printed pants and multiply it by your budget and add 10 it equals GO BUY A PAIR OF DANG PATTERNED PANTS NOW. Just a little fashion equation for you math nerds.

WORK.

Alrighty, let’s get started with this outfit. I got these pants on super sale at Anthropologie right after Christmas.  It was like Christmas all over again, except santa didn’t pay my credit card bill….which made it not like Christmas at all now that I think of it. But alas, I LOVE these pants.

There is a bit of a springish feel to this outfit with the short sleeves and light colored top, but you can easily turn this into winter wear with a black top, blazer and dark heels. I wore this just the other week to work and got oodles of compliments (I think I am the only person to use the word ‘oodles’ when not referring to noodles, but hey I like to take risks).

Patterned Pants, Silk Blouse, Gold Statement Necklace, Tan Heels.

Patterned Pants, Silk Blouse, Gold Statement Necklace, Tan Heels.

PLAY.

“Hey wanna go to the bar Saturday night in the city?” Seems like a normal question, ya know unless you live in New England in the winter of 2015 and know that means there is a 104% chance of snow that night and that the only way you’ll feel comfortable is if you dress up as Ralphie’s brother from the Christmas story:

enhanced-buzz-844-1386085537-15

Randy.

WELL snow, you might win most weekend nights and banish me to my couch with Netflix, tea and crumpets (jk I don’t even know what a crumpet is, but not kidding about the rest), BUT not this time. Not only am I going to go out, I’m not going to wear some frumpy dumpy outfit for fear of frostbite. I’M WEARING SHORTS. YOU HEARD ME.

Maybe I should stop talking to the snow now? I’d rather have you all not question my sanity too much (but this conversation isn’t over yet SNOW). So yeah clothing, fashion, back on track, I love the shorts and tights look, kinda sexy, but chic at the same time.  Want to wear this in the summer? No problem. Lose the tights and blazer and wear heels instead of booties and you’re ready to go! That is if summer ever comes {insert angry face emoji gritting it’s teeth here}.

Don’t you ever wish you could just hold up a picture of an emoji to express your feelings rather than talking? Okay off topic again (but seriously) and seriously get some printed shorts! I’ve had these for like 8 years, and I bought them at Old Navy. Refer to Pro #3 above.

Patterned Shorts, Black Capped Sleeve Top, Black Blazer, Black Tights, Booties.

Patterned Shorts, Black Capped Sleeve Top, Black Blazer, Black Tights, Booties.

DON’T CARE. (but hey, i kinda care)

Patterned leggings. So fun! Having trouble meeting people? Just wear patterned leggings, that’s what I always say. I’ve never said that, but it’s kind of true, I have a pair of American flag leggings that guys always seem to comment on. In any case it’s a little vacation from your boring old black leggings that you always wear and makes you look like you actually thought about your lazy Sunday outfit a little bit. The epitome of “I don’t care, but hey, I kinda care.”

With the right boots and a longer shirt you can easily trick people into thinking these are real pants or trousers or slacks or something fancier than leggings. And as usual with my ‘don’t care’ look they are super comfy. Having comfort and style together is like having peanutbutter and chocolate together — perfection.

Printed Leggings, Black T, Rust Colored Scarf, Black Socks, Brown Leather Boots, Brown Leather Watch, Brown Leather Wrap Bracelet.

Printed Leggings, Black T, Rust Colored Scarf, Black Socks, Brown Leather Boots, Brown Leather Watch, Brown Leather Wrap Bracelet.

A special thanks to all those who have asked me what happened to my blog, I mostly just write it for fun, but you have no idea how incredibly nice it was to hear that people not only read it, but missed it! So until next time (I promise it will be less than a year), get some patterned pants and go wild. Oww oww!

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