Fishnet-esque Tights

Name the Halloween Movie this quote is from:
Winifred Sanderson: Don’t get your knickers in a twist! We’re just three kindly old spinster ladies.
Mary Sanderson: Spending a quiet evening at home.
Sarah: Sucking the lives out of little children!
[Winifred chokes Sarah]

Happy Halloween!! I love Halloween and I love tights. Fishnets were the closest thing to a Halloweenish garment that I could think of without looking like a complete weirdo (since I already act like one, dressing like one will no doubt get me thrown straight in the looneybin). Who says looneybin? Anyways, I mean cat ears + tail can easily be dressed up for the office, but COME ON, there is no way I can be comfortable in those things for my “Don’t Care” look. In anycase I know a lot of women already wear plain black tights, which are great, but why not give your outfit a little boomshakalaka (<— I’m getting ultra desperate for fun adjectives) with patterned tights!

Let’s talk about the good, the bad and the ugly of fishnets. But let’s start with the bad:

This is terrible advice.  I have no words.

When I wear a fanny pack…oh that’s right I never wear a fanny pack. Go home Dos Equis Man, you’re drunk.

Now let’s see the ugly:

Umm boxers shouldn't wear tights.  The end.

Boxers shouldn’t wear full body tights. Correction, NO ONE should wear full body tights. The end.

Okay here is the GOOD, horray!  First, here is a close up of the tights I am wearing in these pics, since my super duper expensive high tech camera (my iphone — I’m returning this thing!  Just kidding iphone, i love you and get anxiety attacks when I don’t have you for 5 seconds) can’t seem to capture it very well:




Fishnet (even esque) Stockings to work can be a little tough, you don’t want to end up looking like you came off the set of Pretty Woman. “Ohhh I love that Movie, I would love to be Julia Roberts in that, that would be soo great.” Okay stop. The movie was amazing, but seriously, get. it. together. She was a PROSTITUTE, you need a new role model stat. Okay back to the look, so I would avoid tall black high heeled boots, at least to work with patterned tights, something just screams “witchy” about that. Booties on the other hand look great! Since the tights are kind of edgy wear something that has a little bit of sweetness to it, lace, ruffles, bows. I try to do this with basically all my outfits to get a happy medium between a straight up Burlesque S&M Chick and Little Bow Peep. Hmm…I’ve lost you haven’t I? It made sense in my head! Just mix edgier fabrics/details with softer ones, kay? Let’s just forget I said that other weird thing, yeah? Okay cool.

Fishnet-esque Tights + Pleated Skirt + Fitted Sweater + Booties.

Fishnet-esque Tights + Pleated Skirt + Fitted Sweater + Booties.



Tights with shorts?  I could never pull that off!  I hate that phrase, OF COURSE you can pull it off.  Just don’t get out your cut offs unless you’re going to the sexy halloween cowboy rodeo party (<–this is a real thing, no it’s not), you need a more tailored pair of fancy pancy shorts.  I also wore leather with suede here on purpose, a little edgy and a little not edgy, gett ittt?  I feel like a lot of us girls turn to jeans when it starts getting cold, but this is a fun way to incorporate shorts when it gets a little chilly and you’ll stand out from the crowd.  Well.. nothing else to say about this pic.  Just your run of the mill generic fashion photo.

Fishnet-esque Tights + Leather Jacket + Bronze Shorts + Jersey Top + Suede Heels

Fishnet-esque Tights + Leather Jacket + Bronze Shorts + Jersey Top + Suede Heels


DON’T CARE. (but hey, i kinda care)

Hey, why don’t you come a little closer pumpkin?  Umm YEAH… I think I need to go on a date.  This skirt is literally made out of the same material as yoga pants so don’t go looking at it thinking I’m not comfortable here.  The top of this outfit kind of says “I’m so cuddly and snuggly and fluffy” and the bottom says “oh heyy”  so together it’s the perfect outfit  for cuddling up with that “special” someone or “not so special, but happens to be there at the time” someone 😉

Fishnet-esque Tights + Cable-knit Sweater + Chunky Scarf + Suede Boots.

Fishnet-esque Tights + Cable-knit Sweater + Chunky Scarf + Suede Boots.

Welp that’s all folks.  And suddenly I’m quoting Porky Pig?  Have a fashiontastic halloween and oh in case you wanted to see what I dressed up as, check out the pic below.  I don’t usually reccommend wearing a hamper covered in red cloth, but on halloween almost anything goes, Cheers!:


Hamper + Red Cloth + Foam + Paint = Bloody Mary


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